








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 643 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 225 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2709 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,351 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2990 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2835 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3019 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2507 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $984,428 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 157 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Survoja | 56% | 122 |
| #2 | Ick13 | 55% | 173 |
| #3 | makotzu | 54% | 67 |
| #4 | jappe | 53% | 30 |
| #5 | Hepha | 53% | 128 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kuningasjoonas | 9 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | jarkkob | 5 | 0.0073 |
| #3 | Ick13 | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | makotzu | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Hepha | 3 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kuningasjoonas | 686 | 0.20 | 20 min |
| #2 | Survoja | 382 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #3 | Ick13 | 246 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #4 | putte | 219 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #5 | Hepha | 186 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jappe | +1.72 | 64 | 67 |
| #2 | Jape | +1.12 | 56 | 75 |
| #3 | kuningasjoonas | +0.62 | 57 | 79 |
| #4 | Alkem1sti | -0.15 | 75 | 60 |
| #5 | putte | -0.18 | 65 | 78 |





