








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 525 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 242 matches | ||
| Wingman | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2941 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,821 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2404 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2277 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 5620 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 4520 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $959,375 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 251 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jape | 53% | 128 |
| #2 | brh1 | 50% | 22 |
| #3 | Survoja | 49% | 169 |
| #4 | Ick13 | 49% | 253 |
| #5 | kuningasjoonas | 48% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | kuningasjoonas | 48% | 87 |
| #6 | jappe | 47% | 32 |
| #7 | PvN | 44% | 27 |
| #8 | makotzu | 41% | 99 |
| #9 | Alkem1sti | 38% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ick13 | 9 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | kuningasjoonas | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Jape | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | makotzu | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Survoja | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Survoja | 514 | 0.14 | 17 min |
| #2 | kuningasjoonas | 352 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| #3 | Jape | 340 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #4 | Ick13 | 319 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #5 | makotzu | 155 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jappe | +2.57 | 68 | 70 |
| #2 | Jape | +1.08 | 57 | 74 |
| #3 | kuningasjoonas | +1.00 | 62 | 78 |
| #4 | brh1 | -0.03 | 71 | 76 |
| #5 | Ick13 | -0.11 | 56 | 64 |





