








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 790 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 246 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2665 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,342 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3246 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4476 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3788 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3832 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,104,373 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 407 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | kuningasjoonas | 51% | 185 |
| #8 | Jape | 48% | 65 |
| #9 | jarkkob | 45% | 78 |
| #10 | Alkem1sti | 43% | 70 |
| #11 | Hepha | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kuningasjoonas | 9 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Pyydystäjä | 6 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | jarkkob | 5 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | piiTwo | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Alkem1sti | 3 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kuningasjoonas | 788 | 0.20 | 23 min |
| #2 | piiTwo | 219 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | Jape | 200 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | Alkem1sti | 147 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | jarkkob | 141 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jape | +1.12 | 51 | 73 |
| #2 | Lukkis | +0.90 | 76 | 50 |
| #3 | JaKo | +0.79 | 69 | 61 |
| #4 | kuningasjoonas | +0.43 | 57 | 76 |
| #5 | putte | +0.25 | 69 | 72 |





