








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 569 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 189 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 78 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1375 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,835 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 765 | 13% |
| Smokes | 2160 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 1669 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1241 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,219,820 of utility $247 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 60 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Berv1 | 39% | 113 |
| #11 | Sølvgutt1 | 39% | 67 |
| #12 | Feite Doris | 38% | 50 |
| #13 | TraXor | 38% | 37 |
| #14 | mHolsvett1 | 33% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Feite Doris | 121 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | CHUBBYBUNNY | 94 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | Sølvgutt1 | 66 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Berv1 | 65 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | Røss | 61 | 0.07 | 1 min |





