








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 257 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 194 matches | ||
| Wingman | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1488 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,301 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1044 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1767 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2112 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1378 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,400,547 of utility $258 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 47 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Berv1 | 7 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | CHUBBYBUNNY | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Jax | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Røss | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Mortiferum | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Feite Doris | 142 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | CHUBBYBUNNY | 129 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | Røss | 114 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Berv1 | 92 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | mHolsvett1 | 89 | 0.07 | 2 min |





