










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 388 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 342 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1728 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,115 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1486 | 13% |
| Smokes | 3379 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3509 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2741 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,177,173 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 155 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Mortiferum | 39% | 113 |
| #11 | mHolsvett1 | 39% | 135 |
| #12 | TraXor | 37% | 95 |
| #13 | Røss | 36% | 117 |
| #14 | Gund3rs | 20% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mortiferum | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Jax | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Røss | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | CHUBBYBUNNY | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Gund3rs | 3 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Feite Doris | 212 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | mHolsvett1 | 192 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | TraXor | 154 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | Sølvgutt1 | 147 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | CHUBBYBUNNY | 142 | 0.07 | 3 min |





