








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 477 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 319 matches | ||
| Wingman | 52 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 64 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2194 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,195 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1111 | 12% |
| Smokes | 2501 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3516 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 2067 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,756,159 of utility $216 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 605 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Berv1 | 45% | 185 |
| #9 | Røss | 45% | 105 |
| #10 | TraXor | 43% | 42 |
| #11 | mHolsvett1 | 39% | 67 |
| #12 | elinz1e | 37% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Berv1 | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Mortiferum | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | elinz1e | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Røss | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | CHUBBYBUNNY | 3 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Feite Doris | 152 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #2 | Røss | 143 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | Berv1 | 121 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #4 | Sølvgutt1 | 98 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | CHUBBYBUNNY | 88 | 0.06 | 2 min |





