








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 215 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1707 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,922 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1626 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3428 | 50% |
| HE Grenades | 1421 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 447 | 6% |
Our logs show you have wasted $454,188 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 992 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ron Swanson | 59% | 17 |
| #2 | Gobbles | 53% | 36 |
| #3 | MessiaHz | 50% | 14 |
| #4 | Kikn | 47% | 34 |
| #5 | CoRRojin | 42% | 147 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Kikn | 47% | 34 |
| #5 | CoRRojin | 42% | 147 |
| #6 | yungreefgawd | 39% | 38 |
| #7 | d!nk. | 38% | 48 |
| #8 | Shmitty | 27% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CoRRojin | 20 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | d!nk. | 9 | 0.0085 |
| #3 | Ron Swanson | 4 | 0.0110 |
| #4 | Gobbles | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | yungreefgawd | 2 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CoRRojin | 234 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #2 | d!nk. | 99 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | Gobbles | 96 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | Kikn | 91 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | Ron Swanson | 53 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ron Swanson | +5.82 | 47 | 59 |
| #2 | MessiaHz | +2.03 | 58 | 15 |
| #3 | Kikn | +1.81 | 50 | 70 |
| #4 | d!nk. | +0.46 | 54 | 63 |
| #5 | Shmitty | +0.19 | 26 | 53 |





