








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 130 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 121 matches | ||
| Esplay | 8 matches | 1,420 | |
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 96 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1389 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,688 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1169 | 13% |
| Smokes | 2463 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2610 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2446 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $377,444 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 49 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hector | 63% | 24 |
| #2 | KranG | 58% | 26 |
| #3 | TUNA | 54% | 74 |
| #4 | yoshi | 53% | 15 |
| #5 | Dahoff | 52% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J1nX | 643 | 0.18 | 17 min |
| #2 | Asgar | 228 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | TUNA | 193 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | Dahoff | 145 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | General Kalle | 98 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Asgar | +2.57 | 56 | 63 |
| #2 | KranG | +2.17 | 43 | 61 |
| #3 | TUNA | +1.43 | 48 | 64 |
| #4 | J1nX | +0.68 | 40 | 78 |
| #5 | yoshi | +0.19 | 47 | 87 |





