








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 119 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 94 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Esplay | 3 matches | 1,513 | |
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1084 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,527 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1396 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1276 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 964 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 891 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $480,983 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 56 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yoshi | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | KranG | 67% | 18 |
| #3 | Hector | 61% | 31 |
| #4 | Dahoff | 59% | 54 |
| #5 | J1nX | 56% | 135 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Viktorious | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Asgar | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | J1nX | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Hector | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Cap'n Burntbeard | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J1nX | 515 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #2 | Asgar | 202 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | Dahoff | 136 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Viktorious | 85 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Hector | 82 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Asgar | +2.72 | 55 | 66 |
| #2 | KranG | +1.78 | 50 | 59 |
| #3 | J1nX | +0.43 | 38 | 78 |
| #4 | TUNA | +0.38 | 45 | 60 |
| #5 | yoshi | -0.04 | 39 | 86 |





