








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 70 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 109 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1578 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,843 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2457 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1802 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2192 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1392 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $231,137 of utility $66 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 313 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SteDarN- | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | mouf | 61% | 18 |
| #3 | BJIERDIDARF | 56% | 122 |
| #4 | buccan | 56% | 27 |
| #5 | vinZ | 54% | 138 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | BJIERDIDARF | 56% | 122 |
| #4 | buccan | 56% | 27 |
| #5 | vinZ | 54% | 138 |
| #6 | shmutt | 50% | 14 |
| #7 | DEEL | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vinZ | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | BJIERDIDARF | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | buccan | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | DEEL | 1 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vinZ | 311 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #2 | BJIERDIDARF | 203 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | mouf | 67 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | buccan | 44 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | SteDarN- | 36 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | buccan | +2.41 | 90 | 69 |
| #2 | The Blue Magician | +0.91 | 81 | 72 |
| #3 | BJIERDIDARF | -0.01 | 79 | 69 |
| #4 | vinZ | -0.47 | 64 | 67 |
| #5 | DEEL | -0.61 | 67 | 70 |





