








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 102 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 267 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2551 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,038 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2560 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3618 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2794 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2066 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $788,218 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 284 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Blue Magician | 54% | 138 |
| #2 | BJIERDIDARF | 53% | 242 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Blue Magician | 54% | 138 |
| #2 | BJIERDIDARF | 53% | 242 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BJIERDIDARF | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | The Blue Magician | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Blue Magician | 509 | 0.18 | 15 min |
| #2 | BJIERDIDARF | 410 | 0.08 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Blue Magician | +0.87 | 82 | 72 |
| #2 | BJIERDIDARF | -0.18 | 79 | 71 |
| #3 | vinZ | -0.41 | 67 | 64 |





