








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 58 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 300 matches | ||
| Faceit | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3681 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,154 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2833 | 19% |
| Smokes | 4947 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3559 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3815 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $963,042 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 108 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ruddan | 57% | 47 |
| #2 | SteDarN- | 57% | 92 |
| #3 | buccan | 56% | 153 |
| #4 | The Blue Magician | 56% | 122 |
| #5 | shmutt | 56% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | The Blue Magician | 56% | 122 |
| #5 | shmutt | 56% | 36 |
| #6 | vinZ | 53% | 242 |
| #7 | mouf | 51% | 113 |
| #8 | DEEL | 50% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vinZ | 10 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | The Blue Magician | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | SteDarN- | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | buccan | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | DEEL | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vinZ | 595 | 0.12 | 20 min |
| #2 | The Blue Magician | 448 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #3 | mouf | 269 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | buccan | 166 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #5 | DEEL | 135 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | buccan | +2.19 | 90 | 66 |
| #2 | The Blue Magician | +1.09 | 81 | 72 |
| #3 | BJIERDIDARF | +0.27 | 79 | 71 |
| #4 | SteDarN- | -0.06 | 52 | 68 |
| #5 | vinZ | -0.53 | 68 | 65 |





