








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 252 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 218 matches | ||
| Faceit | 95 matches | ||
| Esplay | 3 matches | 2,106 | |
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3875 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,891 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1877 | 15% |
| Smokes | 3729 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3856 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 3429 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $852,718 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 168 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bussigt! | 80% | 25 |
| #2 | blizzen | 71% | 21 |
| #3 | ElTaco | 59% | 22 |
| #4 | Miggan | 58% | 24 |
| #5 | BJIERDIDARF | 56% | 153 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | mouf | 53% | 269 |
| #9 | DEEL | 52% | 284 |
| #10 | Ruddan | 51% | 192 |
| #11 | shmutt | 50% | 52 |
| #12 | sadboi | 45% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DEEL | 6 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | Ruddan | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | mouf | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | SteDarN- | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | BJIERDIDARF | 3 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mouf | 741 | 0.13 | 20 min |
| #2 | Ruddan | 396 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #3 | DEEL | 369 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #4 | BJIERDIDARF | 314 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #5 | SteDarN- | 256 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | buccan | +2.52 | 91 | 64 |
| #2 | Bussigt! | +2.30 | 75 | 78 |
| #3 | blizzen | +0.75 | 79 | 48 |
| #4 | BJIERDIDARF | +0.34 | 80 | 72 |
| #5 | The Blue Magician | +0.06 | 81 | 73 |





