








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
779 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,200 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 457 | 14% |
| Smokes | 1123 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 963 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 657 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $277,254 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bussigt! | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | mouf | 56% | 25 |
| #3 | BJIERDIDARF | 56% | 36 |
| #4 | The Blue Magician | 50% | 14 |
| #5 | buccan | 50% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Ruddan | 44% | 34 |
| #9 | sadboi | 40% | 5 |
| #10 | vinZ | 40% | 10 |
| #11 | gutowski | 38% | 13 |
| #12 | Miggan | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | buccan | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | mouf | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Miggan | 1 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | The Blue Magician | 1 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | gutowski | 1 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BJIERDIDARF | 102 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | mouf | 96 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | DEEL | 79 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Ruddan | 64 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | buccan | 55 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bussigt! | +3.84 | 81 | 78 |
| #2 | buccan | +2.91 | 91 | 62 |
| #3 | gutowski | +2.26 | 72 | 66 |
| #4 | The Blue Magician | +1.94 | 81 | 71 |
| #5 | BJIERDIDARF | +1.49 | 86 | 72 |





