








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 786 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 142 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2196 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,575 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1945 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1528 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1199 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 903 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $997,507 of utility $240 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 300 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jyldara. | ♥ | 55% | 11 |
| #2 | VeitForRight | 53% | 17 |
| #3 | [PanzerKnacker] | 53% | 17 |
| #4 | Bast021 | 52% | 46 |
| #5 | Na1tsa high af | 51% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crazy Horst | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Na1tsa high af | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Bast021 | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | NoBrainJustAim | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | t0methy | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kinax // high af | +2.63 | 80 | 64 |
| #2 | [PanzerKnacker] | +2.45 | 87 | 60 |
| #3 | Mr.Mime (shiny) | +2.09 | 74 | 59 |
| #4 | crazy Horst | +0.13 | 62 | 55 |
| #5 | Na1tsa high af | -0.46 | 51 | 75 |





