








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 37 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
544 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,329 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 559 | 24% |
| Smokes | 776 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 276 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 718 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $560,555 of utility $238 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VeitForRight | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | FabiMK1 | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | ꧁Dorsy꧂ | 62% | 13 |
| #4 | [PanzerKnacker] | 60% | 10 |
| #5 | t0methy | 57% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #16 | 2man | 33% | 6 |
| #17 | Bast021 | 29% | 31 |
| #18 | NoBrainJustAim | 29% | 7 |
| #19 | crazy Horst | 29% | 28 |
| #20 | Jyldara. | ♥ | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crazy Horst | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | NoBrainJustAim | 2 | 0.0133 |
| #3 | Na1tsa high af | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Kinax // high af | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | [PanzerKnacker] | 1 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Na1tsa high af | 224 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #2 | Jack Bauerっ◔◡◔)っEmily | 141 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #3 | Kinax // high af | 109 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | crazy Horst | 76 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | nklS- | 72 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1dlesniper | +8.29 | 80 | 82 |
| #2 | nklS- | +7.26 | 86 | 79 |
| #3 | Kinax // high af | +4.06 | 81 | 63 |
| #4 | [PanzerKnacker] | +3.31 | 86 | 72 |
| #5 | VeitForRight | +1.47 | 48 | 55 |





