








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1 achievement has been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
391 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,385 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 610 | 26% |
| Smokes | 550 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 737 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 488 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $108,262 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zmon | 100% | 4 |
| #2 | gmflash | 75% | 4 |
| #3 | minil9reN | 67% | 3 |
| #4 | REEEEEEEEEE | 67% | 12 |
| #5 | Alberto Stone | 63% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | cornz | 50% | 32 |
| #8 | daddl9reN | 48% | 25 |
| #9 | DANCECOMMANDER2000 | 44% | 36 |
| #10 | boioioing | 41% | 41 |
| #11 | buecherhans | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | boioioing | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | DANCECOMMANDER2000 | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | cornz | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | daddl9reN | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Jolly Roger | 1 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | daddl9reN | 158 | 0.28 | 5 min |
| #2 | DANCECOMMANDER2000 | 83 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | cornz | 74 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | boioioing | 73 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | REEEEEEEEEE | 59 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | minil9reN | +4.10 | 75 | 70 |
| #2 | REEEEEEEEEE | +2.68 | 83 | 57 |
| #3 | DANCECOMMANDER2000 | +0.58 | 66 | 60 |
| #4 | boioioing | +0.52 | 62 | 69 |
| #5 | cornz | +0.06 | 70 | 69 |





