








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 765 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 413 matches | ||
| Faceit | 126 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5604 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,876 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9187 | 29% |
| Smokes | 8830 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 6464 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 7395 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,090,070 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 422 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | boioioing | 49% | 193 |
| #11 | sebbau | 48% | 91 |
| #12 | candle light dinner | 48% | 73 |
| #13 | gmflash | 43% | 79 |
| #14 | coteclear | 43% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cornz | 12 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | zmon | 8 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | REEEEEEEEEE | 4 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | boioioing | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Alberto Stone | 3 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | REEEEEEEEEE | 1470 | 0.19 | 36 min |
| #2 | zmon | 1384 | 0.25 | 45 min |
| #3 | cornz | 877 | 0.11 | 20 min |
| #4 | gmflash | 418 | 0.24 | 13 min |
| #5 | boioioing | 299 | 0.07 | 7 min |





