








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1465 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 718 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 74 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10769 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,838 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5020 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2656 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 4413 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1749 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,713,287 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 528 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LickMyBraces | 57% | 46 |
| #2 | pablo | 49% | 97 |
| #3 | ♫Pink Floyd♫ | 48% | 126 |
| #4 | JS | 48% | 82 |
| #5 | c0Ntr0L | 47% | 456 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♫Pink Floyd♫ | 10 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | c0Ntr0L | 8 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | hOAKEEEEEEE | 6 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | Zeri(o)X | 6 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | JS | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hOAKEEEEEEE | 1569 | 0.14 | 46 min |
| #2 | Zeri(o)X | 864 | 0.14 | 26 min |
| #3 | c0Ntr0L | 449 | 0.05 | 12 min |
| #4 | *Lil*Nudle* | 323 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #5 | pablo | 206 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Strillee | +3.56 | 90 | 51 |
| #2 | ♫Pink Floyd♫ | -0.07 | 72 | 63 |
| #3 | c0Ntr0L | -0.60 | 65 | 56 |
| #4 | Zeri(o)X | -0.90 | 73 | 65 |
| #5 | JS | -0.98 | 65 | 62 |





