








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 206 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 374 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3763 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,268 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4181 | 26% |
| Smokes | 5017 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 4486 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2584 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $937,644 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 416 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LickMyBraces | 53% | 43 |
| #2 | pablo | 52% | 82 |
| #3 | JS | 48% | 94 |
| #4 | hOAKEEEEEEE | 47% | 368 |
| #5 | Strillee | 46% | 282 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | JS | 48% | 94 |
| #4 | hOAKEEEEEEE | 47% | 368 |
| #5 | Strillee | 46% | 282 |
| #6 | c0Ntr0L | 46% | 325 |
| #7 | *Lil*Nudle* | 43% | 175 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | c0Ntr0L | 8 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | Strillee | 7 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | hOAKEEEEEEE | 5 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | JS | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | *Lil*Nudle* | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hOAKEEEEEEE | 1084 | 0.14 | 32 min |
| #2 | Strillee | 601 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #3 | *Lil*Nudle* | 397 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #4 | c0Ntr0L | 335 | 0.05 | 9 min |
| #5 | LickMyBraces | 191 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Strillee | +3.55 | 89 | 53 |
| #2 | *Lil*Nudle* | +0.03 | 59 | 68 |
| #3 | c0Ntr0L | -0.13 | 68 | 53 |
| #4 | JS | -0.57 | 69 | 60 |
| #5 | pablo | -0.62 | 69 | 54 |





