








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4213 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1032 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 146 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 139 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 105 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 64 matches | ||
| Esplay | 35 matches | 2,160 | |
| Wingman | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 226 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




287 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
21949 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 48,798 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10385 | 21% |
| Smokes | 5102 | 10% |
| HE Grenades | 21191 | 43% |
| Molotovs | 12120 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $9,156,206 of utility $230 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8072 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AN | 60% | 148 |
| #2 | Nanez | 56% | 121 |
| #3 | Cykk_ | 51% | 108 |
| #4 | Sea Salt | 51% | 418 |
| #5 | /the Big D | 49% | 254 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AN | 41 | 0.0142 |
| #2 | /the Big D | 24 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | Sea Salt | 20 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | sædsokk | 14 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | Nanez | 14 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AN | 742 | 0.26 | 21 min |
| #2 | Sea Salt | 678 | 0.08 | 15 min |
| #3 | sædsokk | 673 | 0.17 | 19 min |
| #4 | Cykk_ | 411 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #5 | hOAKEEEEEEE | 384 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AN | +4.94 | 84 | 77 |
| #2 | Strillee | +3.23 | 93 | 49 |
| #3 | Nanez | +2.51 | 81 | 57 |
| #4 | Cykk_ | +1.72 | 78 | 67 |
| #5 | ♫Pink Floyd♫ | +1.56 | 75 | 61 |





