








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 48 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 83 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
639 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,668 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1084 | 41% |
| Smokes | 682 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 445 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 457 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $105,830 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yves | 80% | 10 |
| #2 | ✿Walter White✿(WCIYB) | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | CEMENT_BAKING | 67% | 6 |
| #4 | Gentle Wife Beater | 63% | 16 |
| #5 | fastbulla | 62% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ✿Walter White✿(WCIYB) | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | CEMENT_BAKING | 67% | 6 |
| #4 | Gentle Wife Beater | 63% | 16 |
| #5 | fastbulla | 62% | 45 |
| #6 | toa$t | 45% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fastbulla | 4 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | Gentle Wife Beater | 2 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | ✿Walter White✿(WCIYB) | 1 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fastbulla | 72 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #2 | Yves | 50 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #3 | CEMENT_BAKING | 38 | 0.31 | 1 min |
| #4 | toa$t | 25 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | ✿Walter White✿(WCIYB) | 23 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fastbulla | +4.43 | 82 | 67 |
| #2 | CEMENT_BAKING | +4.00 | 68 | 74 |
| #3 | Yves | +3.33 | 75 | 79 |
| #4 | Gentle Wife Beater | +0.66 | 64 | 57 |
| #5 | ✿Walter White✿(WCIYB) | -0.27 | 67 | 59 |





