








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1021 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 305 matches | ||
| Faceit | 92 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 78 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5010 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,830 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4554 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4654 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5150 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4472 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,575,213 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 175 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stryke | 72% | 43 |
| #2 | ROCKET[AVA] | 65% | 81 |
| #3 | Presl | 62% | 208 |
| #4 | SUPERSAHNIG | 58% | 96 |
| #5 | miniment | 58% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | burnie | 58% | 125 |
| #7 | cBlack | 54% | 89 |
| #8 | C3dril | 53% | 139 |
| #9 | JimmyFloid | 53% | 239 |
| #10 | <PR> sp1t. | 50% | 122 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JimmyFloid | 13 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | <PR> sp1t. | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | SUPERSAHNIG | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Presl | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | burnie | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | burnie | 795 | 0.29 | 25 min |
| #2 | C3dril | 497 | 0.17 | 15 min |
| #3 | Presl | 383 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #4 | JimmyFloid | 381 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #5 | SUPERSAHNIG | 353 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C3dril | +3.06 | 78 | 76 |
| #2 | burnie | +1.91 | 80 | 81 |
| #3 | <PR> SirGu .at | +1.22 | 80 | 73 |
| #4 | SUPERSAHNIG | +0.98 | 87 | 78 |
| #5 | ROCKET[AVA] | +0.91 | 69 | 77 |





