








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 379 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 155 matches | ||
| Faceit | 59 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 93 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2139 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,725 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2470 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2817 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3193 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3245 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $959,709 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 64 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stryke | 76% | 25 |
| #2 | ROCKET[AVA] | 70% | 69 |
| #3 | miniment | 65% | 34 |
| #4 | <PR> SirGu .at | 62% | 208 |
| #5 | JimmyFloid | 60% | 149 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | burnie | 58% | 88 |
| #7 | <PR> sp1t. | 55% | 103 |
| #8 | C3dril | 54% | 110 |
| #9 | cBlack | 51% | 43 |
| #10 | SUPERSAHNIG | 51% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | <PR> SirGu .at | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | JimmyFloid | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | <PR> sp1t. | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | C3dril | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | burnie | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | <PR> SirGu .at | 546 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #2 | burnie | 544 | 0.28 | 18 min |
| #3 | C3dril | 363 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #4 | JimmyFloid | 236 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #5 | ROCKET[AVA] | 205 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C3dril | +3.00 | 79 | 76 |
| #2 | burnie | +1.75 | 79 | 81 |
| #3 | <PR> SirGu .at | +1.30 | 81 | 74 |
| #4 | ROCKET[AVA] | +1.10 | 72 | 77 |
| #5 | SUPERSAHNIG | +0.86 | 85 | 79 |





