










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1271 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 397 matches | ||
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5926 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,141 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4236 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3635 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 4030 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5240 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $899,931 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 732 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ign0r4nC3 | 82% | 33 |
| #2 | RENE | 81% | 32 |
| #3 | BingBong | 75% | 102 |
| #4 | J0hnny | 74% | 39 |
| #5 | hanfy | 73% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | T the roof | 70% | 33 |
| #8 | GHOS7 | 68% | 75 |
| #9 | Bepli | 66% | 269 |
| #10 | Bulbasaur | 65% | 54 |
| #11 | χ roxorszszs | 63% | 163 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | χ roxorszszs | 14 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Bepli | 8 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | BingBong | 8 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | j1NZO | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Bulbasaur | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | χ roxorszszs | 648 | 0.20 | 19 min |
| #2 | BingBong | 355 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #3 | Bepli | 303 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #4 | Bulbasaur | 225 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #5 | hanfy | 195 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bulbasaur | +3.48 | 97 | 84 |
| #2 | BingBong | +2.91 | 90 | 61 |
| #3 | j1NZO | +2.80 | 95 | 52 |
| #4 | χ roxorszszs | +2.31 | 92 | 78 |
| #5 | J0hnny | +1.39 | 77 | 71 |





