










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 469 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 333 matches | ||
| Faceit | 159 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5857 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,415 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4405 | 23% |
| Smokes | 5524 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5592 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3894 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,569,418 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 135 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wilks | 68% | 41 |
| #2 | Sjm | 60% | 45 |
| #3 | Hybrid | 57% | 121 |
| #4 | asdfasdqe12e | 56% | 116 |
| #5 | Cheetah | 54% | 214 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | SuB~ | 52% | 85 |
| #9 | Spruce Willis | 51% | 210 |
| #10 | Gandofini | 49% | 204 |
| #11 | JUNGE | 49% | 72 |
| #12 | jonesYyyy | 46% | 155 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spruce Willis | 8 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | jonesYyyy | 8 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Cheetah | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Gandofini | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Hybrid | 4 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hybrid | 606 | 0.23 | 19 min |
| #2 | Gandofini | 504 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #3 | SuB~ | 383 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #4 | Cheetah | 306 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #5 | jonesYyyy | 266 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cheetah | +1.70 | 74 | 61 |
| #2 | Wing | +1.53 | 79 | 68 |
| #3 | Spruce Willis | +1.44 | 81 | 50 |
| #4 | DeadCell | +1.34 | 76 | 69 |
| #5 | SuB~ | -0.11 | 66 | 67 |





