








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 293 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 316 matches | ||
| Faceit | 242 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4678 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,200 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7884 | 29% |
| Smokes | 6146 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 7219 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 5951 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,009,286 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 319 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JUNGE | 55% | 77 |
| #2 | wilks | 53% | 115 |
| #3 | Hybrid | 49% | 215 |
| #4 | DeadCell | 49% | 204 |
| #5 | Cheetah | 49% | 437 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | DeadCell | 49% | 204 |
| #5 | Cheetah | 49% | 437 |
| #6 | Spruce Willis | 48% | 440 |
| #7 | jonesYyyy | 47% | 306 |
| #8 | asdfasdqe12e | 46% | 271 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cheetah | 14 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Spruce Willis | 11 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | jonesYyyy | 8 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | DeadCell | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Hybrid | 6 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hybrid | 1074 | 0.24 | 34 min |
| #2 | Cheetah | 648 | 0.07 | 19 min |
| #3 | jonesYyyy | 599 | 0.09 | 15 min |
| #4 | DeadCell | 481 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #5 | asdfasdqe12e | 379 | 0.07 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cheetah | +1.95 | 74 | 61 |
| #2 | Spruce Willis | +1.90 | 82 | 48 |
| #3 | DeadCell | +1.74 | 76 | 71 |
| #4 | Hybrid | -0.12 | 77 | 77 |
| #5 | Gandofini | -0.66 | 54 | 62 |





