










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 656 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 317 matches | ||
| Faceit | 258 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 97 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6971 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,851 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2436 | 15% |
| Smokes | 3676 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5852 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 3887 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $728,208 of utility $51 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 518 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hybrid | 53% | 258 |
| #2 | SuB~ | 51% | 45 |
| #3 | Cheetah | 51% | 480 |
| #4 | DeadCell | 51% | 210 |
| #5 | JUNGE | 51% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Gavmania | 50% | 40 |
| #7 | wilks | 50% | 136 |
| #8 | asdfasdqe12e | 50% | 301 |
| #9 | Gandofini | 48% | 440 |
| #10 | jonesYyyy | 47% | 326 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cheetah | 20 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Gandofini | 19 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | jonesYyyy | 12 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Hybrid | 8 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | DeadCell | 4 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hybrid | 1255 | 0.23 | 38 min |
| #2 | Gandofini | 1110 | 0.12 | 25 min |
| #3 | Cheetah | 733 | 0.07 | 23 min |
| #4 | jonesYyyy | 610 | 0.09 | 15 min |
| #5 | DeadCell | 454 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cheetah | +2.17 | 75 | 62 |
| #2 | Spruce Willis | +1.84 | 82 | 51 |
| #3 | DeadCell | +1.25 | 78 | 71 |
| #4 | SuB~ | +1.12 | 71 | 68 |
| #5 | Hybrid | -0.12 | 77 | 75 |





