








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 40 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 169 matches | ||
| Premier | 168 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2970 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,611 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4021 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4386 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3042 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2162 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $876,543 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DeadCell | 56% | 116 |
| #2 | Hybrid | 56% | 159 |
| #3 | Cheetah | 53% | 285 |
| #4 | wilks | 51% | 65 |
| #5 | Spruce Willis | 50% | 301 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Spruce Willis | 50% | 301 |
| #6 | jonesYyyy | 48% | 149 |
| #7 | JUNGE | 47% | 32 |
| #8 | Gandofini | 46% | 271 |
| #9 | Gavmania | 44% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cheetah | 15 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Gandofini | 11 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Spruce Willis | 7 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | jonesYyyy | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Hybrid | 4 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hybrid | 758 | 0.24 | 23 min |
| #2 | Gandofini | 639 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #3 | Cheetah | 408 | 0.07 | 12 min |
| #4 | jonesYyyy | 263 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #5 | Spruce Willis | 238 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cheetah | +2.64 | 73 | 63 |
| #2 | Spruce Willis | +2.48 | 83 | 48 |
| #3 | DeadCell | +2.43 | 79 | 71 |
| #4 | Hybrid | +0.22 | 79 | 73 |
| #5 | Gavmania | -0.00 | 62 | 66 |





