








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 165 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 217 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2966 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,931 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 511 | 10% |
| Smokes | 1927 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 1367 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1126 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,142,277 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 205 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GeriatricGamingGod | 67% | 60 |
| #2 | pluro | 61% | 28 |
| #3 | Rusty | 56% | 16 |
| #4 | Dill | 56% | 18 |
| #5 | nosey | 56% | 180 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Dill | 56% | 18 |
| #5 | nosey | 56% | 180 |
| #6 | timmy- | 54% | 35 |
| #7 | WIZARD NED | 53% | 161 |
| #8 | GOOD ! | 51% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dill | 9 | 0.0257 |
| #2 | nosey | 8 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | WIZARD NED | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | GeriatricGamingGod | 7 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | GOOD ! | 7 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WIZARD NED | 758 | 0.22 | 21 min |
| #2 | nosey | 735 | 0.19 | 22 min |
| #3 | GeriatricGamingGod | 252 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #4 | GOOD ! | 227 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #5 | pluro | 74 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nosey | +2.25 | 79 | 73 |
| #2 | pluro | +2.06 | 86 | 48 |
| #3 | GeriatricGamingGod | +1.99 | 65 | 79 |
| #4 | Rusty | +1.74 | 82 | 61 |
| #5 | GOOD ! | +0.85 | 72 | 69 |





