








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 36 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 152 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2346 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,530 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3370 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2970 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2327 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1863 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $298,290 of utility $59 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 461 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GeriatricGamingGod | 66% | 50 |
| #2 | nosey | 56% | 167 |
| #3 | Dill | 56% | 18 |
| #4 | Jimmy | 53% | 161 |
| #5 | timmy- | 50% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GeriatricGamingGod | 66% | 50 |
| #2 | nosey | 56% | 167 |
| #3 | Dill | 56% | 18 |
| #4 | Jimmy | 53% | 161 |
| #5 | timmy- | 50% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jimmy | 12 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | nosey | 11 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | GeriatricGamingGod | 7 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | Dill | 4 | 0.0104 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nosey | 666 | 0.19 | 20 min |
| #2 | GeriatricGamingGod | 255 | 0.24 | 8 min |
| #3 | Jimmy | 84 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #4 | timmy- | 31 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Dill | 26 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nosey | +2.18 | 79 | 74 |
| #2 | GeriatricGamingGod | +1.30 | 68 | 81 |
| #3 | WIZARD NED | +1.05 | 70 | 71 |
| #4 | Dill | +0.28 | 68 | 47 |
| #5 | Jimmy | -0.97 | 79 | 33 |





