








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 48 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 24 matches | ||
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1161 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,258 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2461 | 39% |
| Smokes | 1944 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1120 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 733 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $256,716 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 64 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GOOD ! | 71% | 34 |
| #2 | Jimmy | 67% | 60 |
| #3 | Turmdrehkran | 66% | 103 |
| #4 | WIZARD NED | 66% | 50 |
| #5 | Dill | 65% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Jimmy | 67% | 60 |
| #3 | Turmdrehkran | 66% | 103 |
| #4 | WIZARD NED | 66% | 50 |
| #5 | Dill | 65% | 23 |
| #6 | timmy- | 64% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dill | 11 | 0.0244 |
| #2 | Turmdrehkran | 9 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Jimmy | 8 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | GOOD ! | 8 | 0.0120 |
| #5 | WIZARD NED | 5 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Turmdrehkran | 368 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #2 | WIZARD NED | 217 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #3 | GOOD ! | 130 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | Dill | 37 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Jimmy | 22 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Turmdrehkran | +3.22 | 83 | 71 |
| #2 | WIZARD NED | +1.97 | 73 | 69 |
| #3 | GeriatricGamingGod | +1.54 | 63 | 79 |
| #4 | GOOD ! | +1.50 | 80 | 67 |
| #5 | Jimmy | +0.27 | 79 | 34 |





