








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 43 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 70 matches | ||
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1196 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,862 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1144 | 30% |
| Smokes | 671 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1032 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1015 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $719,398 of utility $247 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 273 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anthony | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | Uberpwnage | 57% | 28 |
| #3 | Gearslayer360 | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | erock | 55% | 11 |
| #5 | M1ckW1ck | 54% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | πΎπππ’ππππ‘π½πͺπ§π£ | 52% | 52 |
| #8 | ClevieWonder | 50% | 8 |
| #9 | Drek | 50% | 12 |
| #10 | $ulfuric | 50% | 20 |
| #11 | Antic | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M1ckW1ck | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | πΎπππ’ππππ‘π½πͺπ§π£ | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | $ulfuric | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M1ckW1ck | 971 | 0.45 | 22 min |
| #2 | πΎπππ’ππππ‘π½πͺπ§π£ | 209 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #3 | Ozzy | 123 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | Uberpwnage | 71 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Antic | 64 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gearslayer360 | +3.19 | 80 | 63 |
| #2 | ClevieWonder | +2.17 | 48 | 64 |
| #3 | Ozzy | +1.64 | 55 | 60 |
| #4 | Uberpwnage | +1.63 | 64 | 63 |
| #5 | Antic | +1.18 | 71 | 74 |





