








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 112 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 72 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1475 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,489 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1595 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1291 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1579 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1024 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $558,892 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 344 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shevalo | 82% | 11 |
| #2 | N O R D Q V 1 S T | 59% | 68 |
| #3 | ✪ KOLLY | 54% | 57 |
| #4 | fenris | 53% | 43 |
| #5 | SirDennis | 52% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ✪ KOLLY | 54% | 57 |
| #4 | fenris | 53% | 43 |
| #5 | SirDennis | 52% | 31 |
| #6 | 🗿⃤⃢j🍷nzN^__^ | 48% | 25 |
| #7 | flx | 44% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fenris | 4 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | ✪ KOLLY | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | N O R D Q V 1 S T | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | SirDennis | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | 🗿⃤⃢j🍷nzN^__^ | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ KOLLY | 200 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #2 | N O R D Q V 1 S T | 86 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | 🗿⃤⃢j🍷nzN^__^ | 58 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | Shevalo | 50 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #5 | fenris | 49 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fenris | +2.76 | 81 | 75 |
| #2 | N O R D Q V 1 S T | +2.28 | 82 | 63 |
| #3 | Shevalo | +1.11 | 72 | 67 |
| #4 | SynteC_ | +0.93 | 82 | 71 |
| #5 | 🗿⃤⃢j🍷nzN^__^ | +0.18 | 66 | 71 |





