








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 290 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 118 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2748 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,744 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1439 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1473 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2895 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 1937 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $942,049 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [►] 317 | 67% | 42 |
| #2 | Jiriki | 62% | 21 |
| #3 | Das Krokodil | 55% | 22 |
| #4 | Lizec | 51% | 61 |
| #5 | Fatsch | 50% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Angel of Nightmare | 46% | 85 |
| #8 | Torrul | 45% | 31 |
| #9 | Schlomo | 44% | 18 |
| #10 | SuperDuperDaria | 40% | 30 |
| #11 | kay ツ | 37% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lizec | 6 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | kay ツ | 5 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | Angel of Nightmare | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | SuperDuperDaria | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | [►] 317 | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [►] 317 | 161 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #2 | kay ツ | 102 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | Lizec | 31 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | Angel of Nightmare | 29 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | SuperDuperDaria | 25 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [►] 317 | +4.03 | 79 | 75 |
| #2 | Das Krokodil | +3.18 | 63 | 64 |
| #3 | kay ツ | +1.47 | 64 | 58 |
| #4 | NetZwerg211 [GER] | +1.18 | 39 | 35 |
| #5 | Pritzelbritzel | +0.21 | 69 | 62 |





