








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2265 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 356 matches | ||
| Wingman | 208 matches | ||
| Faceit | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10183 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,337 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6414 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4327 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 7389 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 4207 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,901,112 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 929 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Staubsauger4711 | 53% | 60 |
| #7 | Fumm3lpilz | 48% | 116 |
| #8 | HandschuhHeinii | 43% | 133 |
| #9 | Sad Frog :( | 40% | 53 |
| #10 | Mc_Swinkler | 38% | 207 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ohnc | 405 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #2 | Yanthrax | 325 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #3 | Stresel | 260 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #4 | Fumm3lpilz | 218 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | Mc_Swinkler | 181 | 0.05 | 5 min |





