








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 580 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 396 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3588 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,149 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4295 | 24% |
| Smokes | 5490 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4816 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3548 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,088,875 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 199 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hackon | 54% | 26 |
| #2 | xcd | 54% | 52 |
| #3 | 37 yr old talent | 53% | 51 |
| #4 | JornHegg | 51% | 88 |
| #5 | Bubba J | 50% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | <!CarUmba!> | 46% | 164 |
| #11 | HasNoNick | 44% | 80 |
| #12 | tweaK | 43% | 28 |
| #13 | svesam | 42% | 38 |
| #14 | h3xa9on | 31% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sttr4ke 19yo | +2.95 | 88 | 53 |
| #2 | 37 yr old talent | +2.61 | 61 | 69 |
| #3 | -RainNesorus⭕⃤ | +1.82 | 61 | 61 |
| #4 | xcd | +0.75 | 50 | 63 |
| #5 | Klonkel | +0.70 | 56 | 68 |





