








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 162 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 213 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3196 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,499 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4866 | 36% |
| Smokes | 3743 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3001 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1889 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $372,247 of utility $58 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 62 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vi$ | 73% | 33 |
| #2 | Co1t | 57% | 37 |
| #3 | r0ny | 55% | 22 |
| #4 | EgLeO | 54% | 24 |
| #5 | Jadibuti | 53% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Div | 49% | 39 |
| #10 | GHOST | 43% | 23 |
| #11 | baller | 43% | 35 |
| #12 | SpecOPS Ultra | 41% | 17 |
| #13 | Kr3uL | 35% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Optimus__Prime | 4 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | r0ny | 4 | 0.0078 |
| #3 | GHOST | 4 | 0.0083 |
| #4 | SpecOPS Ultra | 4 | 0.0118 |
| #5 | Jadibuti | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Optimus__Prime | 142 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #2 | Jadibuti | 138 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | Div | 109 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | EgLeO | 102 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #5 | GHOST | 99 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GHOST | +1.71 | 64 | 65 |
| #2 | baller | +1.08 | 63 | 68 |
| #3 | Jadibuti | +0.89 | 57 | 61 |
| #4 | r0ny | +0.72 | 55 | 66 |
| #5 | deadman | +0.32 | 63 | 69 |





