








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 334 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 285 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 134 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7244 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,147 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3288 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3631 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4493 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4735 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,618,168 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 468 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | draz | 59% | 169 |
| #2 | Memory | 48% | 58 |
| #3 | polygonshifter | 48% | 54 |
| #4 | ☫ Đ⋀︎И乙 | 46% | 132 |
| #5 | Brm | 45% | 212 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Memory | 48% | 58 |
| #3 | polygonshifter | 48% | 54 |
| #4 | ☫ Đ⋀︎И乙 | 46% | 132 |
| #5 | Brm | 45% | 212 |
| #6 | Xazark | 41% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xazark | 11 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | draz | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | ☫ Đ⋀︎И乙 | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Brm | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | polygonshifter | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | draz | 632 | 0.18 | 19 min |
| #2 | Brm | 446 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #3 | ☫ Đ⋀︎И乙 | 251 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | Memory | 150 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | polygonshifter | 146 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | polygonshifter | +6.46 | 79 | 67 |
| #2 | draz | +3.12 | 86 | 63 |
| #3 | xsv- | +1.10 | 74 | 57 |
| #4 | ☫ Đ⋀︎И乙 | -1.13 | 55 | 55 |
| #5 | Memory | -1.54 | 52 | 53 |





