








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 956 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 826 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 138 matches | ||
| Wingman | 128 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 93 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




84 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12130 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,654 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8857 | 28% |
| Smokes | 7873 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 9603 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 5321 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,371,684 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2198 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Koshka | 54% | 108 |
| #2 | ✪ 𝚂 𝙿 △ 𝚁 𝙺 ™ | 51% | 109 |
| #3 | polygonshifter | 50% | 209 |
| #4 | Brm | 45% | 686 |
| #5 | ☫ Đ⋀︎И乙 | 43% | 472 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | polygonshifter | 50% | 209 |
| #4 | Brm | 45% | 686 |
| #5 | ☫ Đ⋀︎И乙 | 43% | 472 |
| #6 | __K__ | 42% | 382 |
| #7 | xsv- | 41% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | polygonshifter | 26 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | ☫ Đ⋀︎И乙 | 23 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Koshka | 22 | 0.0102 |
| #4 | ✪ 𝚂 𝙿 △ 𝚁 𝙺 ™ | 17 | 0.0078 |
| #5 | Brm | 13 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brm | 1496 | 0.11 | 38 min |
| #2 | ☫ Đ⋀︎И乙 | 974 | 0.10 | 24 min |
| #3 | polygonshifter | 533 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #4 | ✪ 𝚂 𝙿 △ 𝚁 𝙺 ™ | 221 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | Koshka | 145 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | polygonshifter | +6.46 | 78 | 65 |
| #2 | Koshka | +5.20 | 96 | 58 |
| #3 | ✪ 𝚂 𝙿 △ 𝚁 𝙺 ™ | +4.04 | 89 | 44 |
| #4 | xsv- | +2.44 | 76 | 57 |
| #5 | Xazark | -0.95 | 42 | 57 |





