








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 272 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 180 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2116 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,823 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1110 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1512 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1206 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 995 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $971,304 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Abracadabroutch' | 56% | 99 |
| #2 | ŠcraƁz | 55% | 153 |
| #3 | Lpg | 54% | 107 |
| #4 | CaMzErItOoO | 53% | 19 |
| #5 | Maël «0x» Ratel ™ | 52% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | claD | 49% | 166 |
| #8 | nRKK- [A] | 47% | 53 |
| #9 | Gauchox | 46% | 109 |
| #10 | WaaX | xɐɐʍ | 44% | 73 |
| #11 | XChaussette | 40% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | claD | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | ŠcraƁz | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Lpg | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Abracadabroutch' | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | WaaX | xɐɐʍ | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gauchox | 557 | 0.24 | 17 min |
| #2 | ŠcraƁz | 330 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | Abracadabroutch' | 261 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | claD | 180 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | Lpg | 142 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CaMzErItOoO | +5.77 | 83 | 62 |
| #2 | Skunk | +2.59 | 74 | 61 |
| #3 | Lpg | +1.70 | 54 | 62 |
| #4 | nRKK- [A] | +1.70 | 64 | 71 |
| #5 | Gauchox | +1.56 | 47 | 80 |





