








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 633 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 264 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 137 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 105 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7981 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,835 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13990 | 45% |
| Smokes | 7090 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4755 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 5000 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,571,006 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 352 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Negumi | 77% | 70 |
| #2 | WPC | 77% | 47 |
| #3 | aeasf | 77% | 81 |
| #4 | s1k | 73% | 400 |
| #5 | Biz64 | 70% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s1k | 1454 | 0.19 | 40 min |
| #2 | precog` | 515 | 0.21 | 14 min |
| #3 | Real | 511 | 0.23 | 11 min |
| #4 | 0nEl0vE_3m | 469 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #5 | BluFF | 452 | 0.25 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s1k | +4.15 | 92 | 75 |
| #2 | big CONK | +2.64 | 88 | 67 |
| #3 | WPC | +2.48 | 72 | 59 |
| #4 | crOw-HHL | +2.00 | 82 | 66 |
| #5 | Negumi | +1.98 | 79 | 47 |





