








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1689 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1008 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 98 matches | ||
| Faceit | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 151 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




113 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
15168 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 59,382 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 22584 | 38% |
| Smokes | 14984 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 15701 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 6113 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,662,479 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1817 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | ♡ | 63% | 83 |
| #10 | BluFF | 62% | 764 |
| #11 | xn | 60% | 117 |
| #12 | Hood | 59% | 401 |
| #13 | killsoft | 57% | 166 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | precog` | 32 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | BluFF | 23 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Hood | 13 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | ✪ Mrtwofeet | 10 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Pod | 9 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BluFF | 4108 | 0.26 | 113 min |
| #2 | precog` | 3358 | 0.19 | 88 min |
| #3 | Hood | 991 | 0.12 | 21 min |
| #4 | Pod | 742 | 0.20 | 19 min |
| #5 | ♡ | 672 | 0.37 | 17 min |





