








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1225 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 299 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 125 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 71 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9362 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 38,369 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9543 | 25% |
| Smokes | 10157 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 11532 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 7137 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,705,914 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1204 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xxyzz/A/ | 70% | 88 |
| #2 | s1k | 67% | 135 |
| #3 | MFJUSTIN | 67% | 141 |
| #4 | feveR[sp] | 63% | 451 |
| #5 | aLi-1H | 62% | 504 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aLi-1H | 36 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | feveR[sp] | 10 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | MFJUSTIN | 10 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | sn0t | 9 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | s1k | 5 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aLi-1H | 1427 | 0.14 | 35 min |
| #2 | feveR[sp] | 1277 | 0.14 | 31 min |
| #3 | s1k | 540 | 0.19 | 15 min |
| #4 | sn0t | 495 | 0.23 | 12 min |
| #5 | xxyzz/A/ | 439 | 0.24 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s1k | +3.93 | 89 | 72 |
| #2 | aLi-1H | +2.58 | 93 | 69 |
| #3 | feveR[sp] | +2.14 | 80 | 69 |
| #4 | xxyzz/A/ | +1.81 | 66 | 66 |
| #5 | Biz64 | +1.50 | 75 | 78 |





