








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 127 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
878 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,398 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 629 | 19% |
| Smokes | 831 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1265 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 673 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $472,814 of utility $230 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 54 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Xpla1N =) | 58% | 19 |
| #6 | stormK | 57% | 86 |
| #7 | werd | 51% | 70 |
| #8 | Honk | 40% | 5 |
| #9 | Arisa メル | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stormK | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Xpla1N =) | 2 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | Vassoio | 2 | 0.0100 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | werd | 519 | 0.33 | 13 min |
| #2 | stormK | 422 | 0.22 | 11 min |
| #3 | Yayo | 142 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | FoXTroZT | 87 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #5 | Xpla1N =) | 54 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xpla1N =) | +3.71 | 76 | 50 |
| #2 | Yayo | +2.67 | 81 | 75 |
| #3 | Arisa メル | +0.88 | 70 | 62 |
| #4 | werd | +0.58 | 80 | 74 |
| #5 | stormK | +0.56 | 43 | 79 |





