








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 550 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 514 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 84 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4734 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,323 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7635 | 29% |
| Smokes | 8900 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 4448 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 5340 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $797,923 of utility $63 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 400 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Knes | 54% | 233 |
| #2 | :D|D: | 51% | 37 |
| #3 | Dockx | 50% | 202 |
| #4 | Marvos | 50% | 399 |
| #5 | An1ta | 50% | 158 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | H@R!B0 | 49% | 237 |
| #7 | s4m | 48% | 194 |
| #8 | yamakyo | 48% | 131 |
| #9 | George | 48% | 109 |
| #10 | MrMatt | 42% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | An1ta | 7 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | s4m | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | :D|D: | 4 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | Marvos | 3 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | Knes | 3 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Marvos | 2682 | 0.31 | 87 min |
| #2 | Dockx | 664 | 0.15 | 22 min |
| #3 | An1ta | 506 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #4 | Knes | 303 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #5 | s4m | 282 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :D|D: | +3.06 | 81 | 61 |
| #2 | s4m | +1.88 | 78 | 55 |
| #3 | Marvos | +1.54 | 74 | 78 |
| #4 | Knes | +1.08 | 62 | 55 |
| #5 | MuTTs NuTTs | -0.06 | 55 | 62 |





