








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 294 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 151 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 117 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2619 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,138 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5371 | 66% |
| Smokes | 679 | 8% |
| HE Grenades | 1904 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 184 | 2% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,253,106 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1655 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Burr Chatta | 52% | 67 |
| #6 | Aadarsh Batman | 52% | 23 |
| #7 | Chodu CHakli | 51% | 71 |
| #8 | Dev Panjabi #RoadtoSelfFlashing | 46% | 108 |
| #9 | Lakshya e.e | 40% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hoax | 11 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | Dev Panjabi #RoadtoSelfFlashing | 9 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Burr Chatta | 8 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | FN☝👽 | 8 | 0.0162 |
| #5 | Chodu CHakli | 6 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hoax | 192 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | ☂️ Portal | 88 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #3 | Lakshya e.e | 77 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Chodu CHakli | 76 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Burr Chatta | 73 | 0.05 | 2 min |





