








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 249 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 150 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 189 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1724 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,396 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 912 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1369 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1633 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1482 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $795,080 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 86 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | grims | 57% | 30 |
| #2 | wrecksome | 53% | 38 |
| #3 | Quacky @ Penicillium roqueforti | 52% | 63 |
| #4 | CosMO | 48% | 118 |
| #5 | GunSystem | 47% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lommis | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | trestubb | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | wrecksome | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | GunSystem | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | CosMO | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CosMO | 635 | 0.25 | 17 min |
| #2 | Lommis | 221 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #3 | Quacky @ Penicillium roqueforti | 142 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | grims | 124 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #5 | trestubb | 86 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | grims | +2.07 | 84 | 74 |
| #2 | CosMO | +1.95 | 64 | 77 |
| #3 | Baowz. . . . | +1.75 | 90 | 37 |
| #4 | Lommis | +1.51 | 56 | 70 |
| #5 | Depressed Onion | +0.46 | 45 | 69 |





