








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 873 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 204 matches | ||
| Esplay | 177 matches | 1,839 | |
| Faceit | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 82 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4399 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,958 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4586 | 21% |
| Smokes | 5127 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 6310 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 5935 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,292,715 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 218 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Loff3 | 66% | 38 |
| #2 | MVD | 63% | 41 |
| #3 | ✮ RomáN^ | 59% | 37 |
| #4 | S1nex "pew pew" | 59% | 27 |
| #5 | Quacky @ Penicillium roqueforti | 57% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GunSystem | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | trestubb | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | rixZn | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | Lommis | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | RespawN | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RespawN | 269 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #2 | rixZn | 259 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | bearJ | 208 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | MVD | 206 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #5 | Lommis | 200 | 0.08 | 7 min |





